Today I talked with an old school friend. It’s been 18 years since I last spoken with him. Talking about things that I have forgotten about and I was upset. Because ever since I’m with my husband, no wait, even before him, with my ex (one in a long list of them, not angel or gay or polish (I’m not racist) –sorry private joke), so since I was 18 years old that I don’t remember lots of things, conversations, even people. All because of my drinking (would love to forget my in-laws, sadly I didn’t). I started looking at my feet and thinking of what this body went through. No wonder my brain has hidden stuff from myself. I’m tired of my past. I’m not my family. I’m me…Just plain, boring me… But I’m still eager, hungry enough to a new beginning. Never gave up anything. I’m still full of dreams and desires. If my in-law knew this, knew who I really am, she wouldn’t say that I feel sorry for myself. Women I never did. Let me teach you something, growing up my father taught me lots of bad examples, bad things, I had a choice, and I choose to learn how to survived when it gets tough, a choose knowledge, to better myself, not to be a Victim and not to act like one, and I’m very proud of who I became…and I make the same choice every day.
You’re a hater, I’m a lover.
My poor tired feet. My beautiful powerful machines. I’m very thankful to you guys… even if sometimes you guys stink a little bit…I’ll forgive you.
Now let’s go to sleep now. Tomorrow is another bright new day full of possibilities.
(Had a interesting conversation with my in-law a week ago. I’m still very upset. It’s the first that I public spoken about them. Won’t do this again. There’s a big reason why we haven’t spoke for more than 12 years and I was a fool thinking they would ever change.. Well I’ve offered a second chance… But your big, egocentric mouth blew it… People have limits, respect them, please…)